Healing The Mother-Daughter Bond

 Healing the Mother-Daughter bond is paramount to our human awakening, our relationships with each other and with our planetary Mother Gaia.

I am referring to the feminine lineage of mothers teaching, guiding and loving (or not loving) their daughters. The Mother-Daughter Bond is central to how we create the future.

(And yes, I know, mothers and sons have our own dance of healing. That’s a topic for another blog post).

Womb-Wisdom, Belly-Love Pt. 4

As I tuned into my belly this morning, listening to her. Loving her. What arose for me was my own mother and my relationship with her.

Ours is a hard-won harmony, for we are very different people …

I: the rebel indigo and ancient truth-seeker, returned to this world yet again to clear, heal and reclaim leadership in service to the light.

She: a humble, obedient catholic taught with the rod un-spared to be a good girl. To ensure she remained meek and weak.

Could we be any more different? Well, in theory anything is possible 🙂 As far as mother-daughter bonds go, ours has been better than many, which isn’t saying a whole lot.

What I saw and sensed this morning, as I tuned into my belly wisdom, was that my mom does want to bond with me more deeply – as I with her. As she moves closer to the end of her life, I see how she has become more open to simply seeing me … instead of wanting me to be someone more comfortable for her.

And of course, the mirror goes both ways.

I’m sad that we could not have been closer as I grew – or through much of my adulthood. I’m sad that we’ve not always been able to accept each other for who we are.

I’m sad right now that so many daughters and mothers live and have lived with this heart-breaking breach.

Gratitude and Damage

“The mother-daughter bond for most women on earth is a shambles.
It’s toxic and far too often, severely damaging. The lineage had been
infiltrated and poisoned long ago.”

Please understand, I am deeply grateful for my mother. For the ways she has loved me. It’s been steadfast and unconditional. That she’s loved me these 51 years has never been up for question.

What is up for question is something deeper, far more ancient, and much more insidious …

The mother-daughter bond for most women on earth is a shambles. It’s toxic and far too often, severely damaging. The lineage had been infiltrated and poisoned long, long ago.

After all, in order to survive and protect our daughters, we as women have internalised the values of a culture which denigrates the feminine principle.

The Task That Does Not Serve

Thus it is the women who are assigned the task in misogynist culture to enforce the beliefs and behaviors of denigration upon their daughters, nieces, granddaughters … the lineage.

They – WE – have been the ones whose role it has been to ensure our girls stay in line. To squeeze them into tiny boxes, tight girdles, limited ideals of acceptable femininity.

It’s not easy to be a mother to a daughter when you yourself are truncated … especially when all evidence that a truncation had even occurred was wiped away, leaving us to believe “it’s always been this way.”

This dis-ease of patriarchy has resulted in a planetary dis-ability. One in which all mothers (most, anyway) over the past 6000+ years have very little self-love, self-acceptance and even, self-respect.

How can mothers raise healthy daughters when despising the feminine principle was essential to the fabric of their identity? How can mothers raise healthy sons with such a foundation?

Reclaiming & Healing the Mother-Daughter Bond

Reclaiming the Feminine Principle as SACRED is essential to human awakening – for both women and men.

For we are, after all, each a child of a Mother. She carried us in her body, birthed us and if not her, then another woman nurtured and raised us.

Healing the mother-daughter bond is essential to our healing as humans and here’s why:

Crazy mothers make crazy daughters.

And what could be more crazy-making than schizophrenic self-loathing? Daughters who become mothers of girls and boys, perpetrating the misery of feminine-loathing to the next generation is an insidious and effective way to keep us from healing, awakening, authentic connection, valuing the Earth … basically: Living well.

We the Wild Women Rebels

I wish I could have had a closer, mother-daughter bond, but I don’t regret for a moment that I am not the daughter she wanted me to be. The problem was never my behavior. The problem, for thousands of years, has been the denigration of the feminine.

No, I was not the problem. And sister, if you are reading this from the memory of your own strained relations with mom, neither were you – and neither was she.

We who bring awareness to this … We wild women rebels who simply could not fit in the boxes, girdles and gridlock our mothers sought to contain us within … We are actually a part of the solution. When we question the assumptions, when we buck the limitations, when we reclaim our voices, our bodies, our minds, we challenge the misogyny. Up-end it. Open doors for change.

The denigration of the feminine principle – in all its forms from gross to subtle – must end. We must shed light on this. We must speak truth to it and to all the noxious accumulations, inclinations and assumptions of this outdated habituation.

Central to this is the way we are mothers and the way we raise daughters.